Thanks to innovations in milks and oils made from nuts, fruits, and even vegetables, plant-based "ice cream" is no longer the butt of the "I scream" joke. Once known for artificial flavors and less-than-palatable textures, nondairy frozen desserts are finally giving vegans, the lactose-intolerant, and those wary of the dairy industry's water footprint (more than 12 trillion gallons a year) and climate change hoofprint (4 percent of global greenhouse gas emissions) reason to indulge. Behold, the cream of the dairy-free frozen dessert crop. 

SO DELICIOUS is known for its coconut-, soy-, and almond-milk-based desserts. In 2015, its food scientists went nuts and rolled out five varieties made from high-fat cashew milk—and these boast the most ice-cream-like texture yet. Made with little more than organic cane syrup, non-GMO canola oil, and sea salt, the cashew options—including Snickerdoodle and Salted Caramel Cluster—were such a hit that last year, So Delicious released three classic varieties: Creamy Chocolate, Very Vanilla, and Chocolate Cookies 'N' Cream. $5.50 a pint, sodeliciousdairyfree.com

A couple from Oregon—"lover of sweetness" Luna and "explorer of consciousness" Larry Kaplowitz—founded COCONUT BLISS in 2004. Their pints of coconut ice cream use minimal ingredients, and the Kaplowitzes' newest innovation, an organic ice cream cookie sandwich, makes for a transcendent superfood vehicle. The cookies are made from sprouted grains blended with hemp seeds, flaxseeds, and coconut oil and are decorated with fair-trade dark chocolate chips. A sprinkling of organic millet lends crunchiness. $6 to $7 a pint, coconutbliss.com

At 17, self-described ice cream addict Gabe Wolff was diagnosed with celiac disease and a dairy intolerance. Eight years later, Wolff and the pea protein flour he used to re-create his favorite treat were featured on a 2015 episode of Shark Tank. Wolff incorporated the sharks' feedback into his line of dairy-, nut-, egg-, sugar-, fat-, and gluten-free frozen desserts, sweetening them with organic stevia and low-glycemic monk fruit. The result, WINK FROZEN DESSERTS, is a selection of low-calorie but tasty (not pea-reminiscent) sorbets. $5 a pint, winkfrozendesserts.com

After extensive formulating, BEN & JERRY'S last year unveiled four almond-milk-based, coconut-oil-enhanced, certified-vegan flavors that sacrifice none of the brand's trademark chunks, swirls, or whimsy. The dairy-wary loved spooning with vegan Chunky Monkey and P.B. & Cookies so much that half of the company's flavor debuts in 2017 were dairy-free. Cherry Garcia, Caramel Almond Brittle, and Coconut Seven Layer Bar are just about as creamy (and caloric) as the company's mainstays—in a blind taste test, you'd never know they were vegan. $5 a pint, benjerry.com

A make-believe word for "no dairy," NADAMOO's name has more of a ring to it than "vegan and organic." The family behind the brand started whipping up small batches of coconut-milk-based flavors for "rigorous vegans" in 2004. The ice-cream-like texture of NadaMoo's concoctions soon caught the attention of a Whole Foods regional buyer. Today, the company's 15 flavors are found in 3,500 stores nationwide. This year's indulgent debuts, the Rockiest Road and Birthday Cake Cookie Dough, knock it out of the pasture. $6 to $7 a pint, nadamoo.com

There's ice cream, and then there are celebratory ice cream concoctions. For nondairy sundaes, banana splits, shakes, and gussied-up pies and puddings, look no further than CocoWhip, from SO DELICIOUS, which provides all the fluffiness and flavor of whipped cream, minus the noxious nitrous oxide. Made from coconut milk, this versatile topping is a must-have among vegan bakers as an ingredient substitute for whipped cream. $4 a tub, sodeliciousdairyfree.com

Inspired by the paletas and aguas frescas of Latino-influenced Austin, in 2009 a University of Texas student named Daniel Goetz created a portable dessert out of locally grown fruit, fair-trade cane sugar, and organic coconut ice cream. Initially sold in farmers' markets, GOODPOP is now available in more than 40 states and comes in nine flavors—including Hibiscus Mint, Coldbrew Coffee, and Banana Cinnamon. Earlier this year, the company unveiled a classic: Orange N' Cream. Because vegans can dream(sicle), too. About $6 for a box of four, goodpops.com

This article appeared in the September/October 2017 edition with the headline "Don't Have a Cow."