Typically, the relentless marketing of “What to get Dad for Father’s Day” is a practical reminder to get that card in the mail or book reservations at his favorite diner. However, for some it feels like an unpleasant reminder to those of us who don’t have anyone to buy for. For me, the store windows with razors, books, cologne, watches, fishing gear, and other "dad stuff" is a reminder of the hole that was left in my life last year.
My dad passed away last September after a long decline due to Lewy Bodies and dementia. But his personality and lessons are with me every day.
I remember standing in the kitchen with him, at age 10, and he tells me as he pours me a glass of orange juice, “You know, honey. You could be president someday if you wanted to be.” I put my hands on my hips and rolled my eyes in that way only a pre-teen can do, and said “I know, Dad.” I knew that because he taught me. I learned through and through that I could be and do anything, and I realize that in itself is a privilege. Years later, when I had the idea to run for city council, my dad didn’t skip a beat. He grabbed the car keys and we marched in to collect the paperwork at city hall.
As the 2016 presidential election heated up, my dad’s energy declined. But that didn’t stop him from insisting that it was about time we had our first woman president, reciting all the other countries that have women heads of state.
He was also the person that would be right by my side as we hiked up canyons or went inner tubing down the river. We spent countless weeks on the road in our Westfalia camper van as a family, visiting every inch of the California coastline and dozens of national parks. Those trips taught me the possibility and accessibility of the outdoors. As his health declined, my dad would still brave the rock scramble to the beach, and trail behind us as we plunged out to a lookout point.
It is my dad’s advocacy and enthusiastic support of my every endeavor that has catapulted my relentless belief that the world is full of good. Sometimes, we just need to create the community for people to express themselves.
This Father’s Day, I can reflect on just how large my dad’s presence carries on in the work I do today. You see, he was the first feminist I met. And his belief in me extended far beyond what I could do; he truly believed in fighting for a world all women deserve. He also was not surprised to see my love of nature take shape as a career with the Sierra Club, the oldest and largest national grassroots environmental organization in the country -- one that is still growing and expanding to work on things that are critical.
My call to fathers across the country is to take that belief in your daughters one step further. Let us create together the world we know is possible that we want to give to them. Let’s make our workplaces supportive and safe, ensure women have equal pay, and give all people access to paid family leave.
After my dad’s passing, I committed to focusing on the things I could change and carry his relentless optimism with me. The Sierra Club’s Gender, Equity and Environment program has allowed me to channel my love for natural places, health, and equity into one campaign. I may be overly optimistic, but I’m inspired by our partner organizations, our organizers, and progressive women across the country fighting for a safer, cleaner world for today and for future generations. That’s the kind of world my dad wanted for me.
Happy Father’s Day, Dad. I am so proud of everything that you taught me. And hope I carry your resilience with me.
For those seeking resources on grief and loss, check out http://thedinnerparty.org/fathersday. To learn more about the Gender Equity & Environment Program, see www.sierraclub.org/gender.