THE QUEST FOR ACCEPTANCE

Rex Burress

In this age of videos, we see countless examples of pictures depicting different species of animals forming friendships with each other in captivity.

In the wild, most species are generally receptive only to members of their own group but stay apart from other animals, other than the predator stalking its prey. But when intermingled, as on a farm or in a zoo, and well cared for, well-fed, in peaceful surroundings, unusual alliances can be formed. Every day it seems there is an account of “a lion laying down beside a lamb,” or something of similar significance.

One cute video showed an orangutan playing with tigers, and another of a duck sheltering a kitten, and any number of orphaned wild animals adopting human caretakers. Gentleness and food will reconcile the most unlikely combinations.

Maybe you could add “desperation” to the reasons of unnatural behavior, as in being confined in captivity. However, when fear is alleviated, acceptance can be developed, but it's not the norm for wild creatures that are largely on the defensive in a struggle for survival.

Yet, there is generally a yearning for acceptance in life. Wild animals have added a 'fear of mankind' to their gene pool, perhaps starting from the caveman days when spear and stone were wielded by a two-legged animal with intelligence and a opposable thumb! At least, that cautious condition soon develops after some unpleasant experiences!

Lewis and Clark on the westward expedition of 1803-06 remarked that the plains animals were relatively approachable since guns were not a fear-factor yet. The gun has largely helped mankind survive in the wilderness, but has also instilled fear and distrust in living creatures that might be friendly if given a chance.

How often the photographer or bird watcher has wished that their subject would be trusting and pose closeup in a friendly sort of way. But no, hence binoculars and telephoto lens. But other than 'a canary in a cage,' or a dependent wild pet, everything from the eagle to the elephant to the sparrow and the skunk fear mankind. How can you blame them when a rock is liable to be tossed or a trigger pulled? Life is about everything eating something and nothing wants to be eaten or killed!

The lack of acceptance extends into the human species, as we well know during election times. Yet, it is a good feeling to be accepted, and desirably, loved. Artists know the joy of having their works accepted or purchased at a show or among friends.

Breaking that unfriendly barrier is helped by waving and smiling--and extending a helping hand when a soul is sinking in the sand. My wife Jo waves and smiles at everyone, seeking friendship and acceptance, even while in the throes of dementia. But there is that barrier of caution about the invisible inner intent of the mind in strangers or even friends. Tragically, Jo was once scammed and frauded of a large sum by an evil one. Is anyone ever fully accepted when there is that element of doubt lingering due to the imperfection of mankind?

People seek a mate, and trust is implied, but the tempting demon of biological directives hangs around deep in the physic, just as the tempting evil of greed can effect the good. Largely in the human social order, it is acceptance at a distance. Perhaps that is why so many put trust in their dog...but deep down in the furrows of the past a speck of the wolf remains. That speck is larger in wild animals.

We see that joy of acceptance in people offering some bread to a duck out at the forebay, or on a larger scale at the Wildlife Refuge in Oakland where feeding the birds is still allowed. Brown bags of bread for the geese and seeds for the pigeons is a daily ritual for a number of city residents enthralled to be accepted by a bird. Most parks ban feeding wild animals as the dependence-habit becomes a problem.

“Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out just as they come, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping and then, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.” --George Eliot