HOVERCRAFT IN MY HOUSE

Rex Burress

The thing first appeared around my computer-light, hovering, slowly drifting through the air like some kind of minute flying saucer or drone. It was no larger than a fuzzy pinhead, and I tried to grab it but came up empty. For something so slow, the maneuverability was remarkable.

I had my 10X hand lens ready to view what was bugging me, but that flying speck never landed, apparently fully fueled with inexhaustible energy, and it continued to defy my efforts to bring it down. Maybe the electrical light that it sought was the fuel generator, like some Star Trek apparition.

Thus I was made aware that Drosophila melanogaster had somehow entered my domain. In fact, I found that a couple dozen of the dainty dashers were descending on an exposed banana in the kitchen! How had they entered and joined the other micro organisms that live with me? Of course, Drosophila is a genus of fruit flies, and practically everyone is familiar with the sight of them around spoiled fruit on trees in the summer or around compost piles, or in your house. Their extreme smallness almost puts them out of the range of normal seeing. The speck appears much like one of those “floaters” I have in my eye.

The flight of the fruit fly is also reminiscent of a mosquito's approach, only there is no blood sucking with the melanogaster, but rather a sponge-like proboscis that sucks up rotting juices. Both are in the Diptera fly family, though. Two wings. How do flies do all that with two flimsy wings? Researchers state that the fruit fly beats its wings at 230 times a second, and the rapidity, like the hummingbird, provides some daring aerial acrobatics. No wonder there was a blur around the fruit fly.

Most flies fly fast to their allurement. A deer fly was once said to reach several hundred miles-per hour, but we now know that the studied top speed is about 90 mph. We also know how the house fly can dodge and zip around often faster than a fly swatter whop. It takes savvy and skill for the annoyed human to figure out the best swatter swing! High-speed cameras have exposed how the fruit flies escape danger with a specific sequence of rapid wing beats and sharp turns, combined with superior coordinated eyesight containing 760 eye units, so said scientist Michael Dickinson. How and why a mere fly attained these advanced traits is miraculous, although Einstein said everything is a miracle.

Finally, the fruit fly landed at the edge of my computer light, and I put the glass to it. Surprisingly, it was a thing of beauty. The eyes were bright red, and the wings, longer than the stubby body, sparkled with iridescence!

The fruit flies have been extensively studied, since they have unique internal structures that are readily compared with other animals. Scientists have even determined that the male 'sings' to the female with quivering wings during courtship, a coupling that may last 20 minutes! Compare that to the mating of most songbirds that is consummated in seconds, except for very horny ducks, especially the lumbering muscovey that may rock on top of the smaller female for several minutes, simply screwed into the vagina with a massive flower-shaped penis, much like turtles. The enlarged penis of dogs may get stuck in the female, and it's well known that men get stuck on women, mentally! Didn't you want to know that?

Fruit flies live about three months, and like most flies, reproduce in the metamorphic method from egg to larvae-maggot to pupa to adult. They are drawn to fermenting fruit and feed on microrganisms in the fluid, and often drown in wine. Perhaps you have seen clouds of fruit flies around fermenting fruit and mushrooms. Could they be alcoholic?

There are about 4000 species of fruit flies, 90,000 other flies, and a total of over a million varied insect species in the world. The numbers are staggering, as are the fantastic array of forms and color. Watch the insects!

“Flies escape danger with a specific sequence of rapid wing beats and sharp turns.”

--Michael Dickinson

“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.” --Groucho Marx