March 6, 2017
By Sara Schultz, Atlantic Chapter Secretary
Mindfulness is surely one of the buzzwords of this decade. It’s easy to read about and talk about but not so easy to practice consistently. The truth is, after getting certified as a mindfulness teacher, I still lose my phone, miss appointments and open my mouth before thinking. However, I plug away at it.
Mindfulness is the journey, not the destination
Mindful practice is not mindful perfect. It’s simply the art of being present in the moment. I believe that being mindful helps me communicate with others effectively and guides the decisions that I make in my daily life. Being mindful helps me to more deeply consider how my actions impact the environment and those around me. One could call it simple respect for creation and consideration of others, but I think it’s more a cultivation of empathy and compassion for all beings. It is being present to others’ pain, to their story and to the possibilities for healing.
Mindfulness can be a part of every aspect of our lives. Last summer, Sierra Club Atlantic Chapter offered its leadership and members a Diversity, Equality and Inclusiveness (DEI) training. We all stayed at the Watershed Center, a retreat for change makers in Millerton, NY, surrounded by the beautiful Taconic Mountains. The center was built on the “mindful” dreams of a young couple. They wanted to provide a space for non-profit organizations who share the mission of making the world a better place. It was such a privilege to be there. One could feel how mindfully the space was laid out and how the details were organized.
One of the things we received from our facilitators, Allison Chin, Vrinda Manglik and Alexis Boxer, was a little card. One side had “9 Healthy Ways to Communicate” from Stirfry Seminars and Consulting. The other side had “The Art of Mindful Inquiry” from “The Art of Mindful Facilitation” by Lee Men.
Taking practice into real world experience
This little card was very instructive. Often we’re working with each other on an important campaign or out in the public mixing with people who have concerns that differ from our own. These “mindful” rules of engagement can make the difference between connecting with others or being shut out of the conversation.
We have so much work to do to protect our communities from climate injustice and to fight for a sustainable future. Hopefully we can practice mindfulness when we’re reaching out to those who might not look or think as we do. Hopefully we can practice mindfulness with each other. Let me share these truths with you.
Nine Healthy Ways to Communicate
1. Reflect back what is being said. Use their words, not yours.
2. Begin where they are, not where you want them to be.
3. Be curious and open to what they’re trying to say.
4. Notice what they’re saying and what they’re not.
5. Emotionally relate to how they’re feeling. Nurture the relationship.
6. Notice how you are feeling. Be honest and authentic.
7. Take responsibility for your part in the conflict or misunderstanding.
8. Try to understand how their past affects who they are and how those experiences affect their relationship with you.
9. Stay with the process and the relationship, not just the solution.
The Art of Mindful Inquiry
“What I heard you say was . . .”
“Tell me more about what you meant by . . .”
“What angered you about what happened?”
“What hurt you about what happened?”
"What’s familiar about what happened?”
(How did that affect you? How does it affect you now?)
"What do you need/want?”
With the new administration threatening to undo all the positive inroads made toward acceptance of progressive values that we cherish, it is most important now to proceed mindfully. It is far too overwhelming to try and be involved in every issue. And it is far too unhealthy and unproductive to react with anger each time we hear regressive rants from the nation’s capitol. Responding with anger only increases the divide but channeling that anger into action is the moral imperative that speaks to our movement.
So call your legislators — they may well listen. Lobby with your cohorts. Green your homes and workplaces. Speak out at town board meetings. Talk with your neighbors and concentrate on listening to their stories instead of preparing the next sentence you plan to jump in with. And most important, enjoy the love that’s in your life — your friends, family, pets, partners. Mindfulness offers us connection. That will last longer than any of our opinions.